Oct 14, 2020

life is a stay-at-home parent to special needs children.

I've been a stay-at-home parent for a number of years. What people don't realize is actually how hard it is especially when you have children on the autistic spectrum. 

My oldest is now 15, and youngest is 2 (again SEN) however the problems haven't stopped. He struggles with anxiety and panic disorders, there is struggles around school, if he will go to school. When he does attend, I get constant calls telling me things that have happened, or asking me to pick him up as he's not coping. Before he was 15 there was a lot of hospital appointments, specialist reports and meetings with school and other professionals. 

 I have now been out of work for around 5 years. Before that I was struggling to be a one-to-one special needs teaching assistant and midday supervisor. There were days when I had to call in sick or that I couldn't come in because my oldest with struggling to go to school, OR there was one of my many visits to hospitals and testing at clinics.  

 What some people fail to realize when people are classed as a career for their children, is that you don't get to stay at home doing nothing or that they at school because they are normally at home too. If they are at school you get constant daily calls telling you things that go wrong or they haven't been able to stay in class or that these meetings need to be held, things need to be put in place for them.  it's a full-on job 24/7. In my experience you don't even get peace in the evening, when they come home, as you have teachers following up with you, home work that been set. Again, a call normally to tell you what has goes on at school from another subject, or during break or lunch time.  

 Even trying to do simple tasks like going to the shop for food you end up with phone calls. There are always emails coming and going from my phone regarding things that are happening at school, or appointments that need attending.  Basically, I turn into reception for my son and also the Professionals involved.  I often end up chasing lots of professionals and for extra help as well, I also ended up asking school what has been put into place and how we're going to stop something from happening again. 

 You end up doing all of this plus struggling to do your everyday simple tasks. You often go neglected and miss your own appointments. You never have any time for yourself.  Your emotionally, mentally and physically drained from having so much to do 24/7. You often struggle to sleep, as you're on high alert.  you're often kept awake, with the anxieties and struggles from your children. If they are anything like my oldest, they will come into your room at silly times including 2 a.m. Just to tell you how worried they are getting a bus to school and the things that might happen later that morning at school. It might even be a something as simple as they're worried the front door isn't locked.  Never-ending the days roll into the same day and everything continues daily. 

I also have a 2yr old with SEN which I will also do a blog about and write about, as I am new to SEN in a child so young, as my oldest was diagnosed at 6yrs old ( now 15).

Life as a stay at home, looking after a special need's child, is nonstop. You don’t get to sit and watch tv all day, or even prepare food. You don’t even have a luxury of having a “wee” without the phone going off. I'd love nothing than being able to sit down and enjoy a cup of tea. But the simple fact is I don’t get that chance any time as a single parent with special needs children.  Even being able to go out as a family and enjoy holidays, is impossible as my son struggles with that too, which I will do a blog about.  

If your looking for ways to be more content then click here to read more on ways to help make life more enjoyable 

There is support for children with special needs especially if one of your children is older. There is a podcast about mental health you can find out more by clicking here

You're not alone as a single parent and blogger Rice Cakes and Raisins shares her parenting struggles here.

If you have a child who has issues with their tonsils like mine does and become very unwell click here to read about why a tonsillectomy might be the best way forward. 


  1. Sounds like a lot is going on. Hang in there mama!

  2. I am now mostly at home homeschooling our SEN son. He has SPD and ADHD. It's hard work and people don't see a lot of what happens in our day. I also used to work with families with SEN kids and learned that it's very much not the same as being an at home mum to a baby or child with no additional needs. Frankly parents at home with SEN kids should get more financial and emotional support, but I know they don't and sadly won't as it's still not recognised for what it is. Thank you for sharing with #parentpower

  3. I work in a variety of schools and know the efforts that parent and staff go to supporting the SEN children. It is humbling and actually quite awe inspiring. I wish that communities and national policy appreciated the efforts more and provided better assistance. Thansk for linking up with #parentpower

  4. My 7 year old son is also autistic and attends a special school, I work as a full time secondary school teacher and I am permanently exhausted. It is extremely hard being a SEN parent. I also write a blog about him too. We need to connect. Thanks for sharing on #ParentPower

  5. Sounds really tough but you sound like you are doing an amazing job! Just hope you are getting lots of support as well :)

  6. So many rewards - alas there are always hurdles to jump too


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